Life is expansion and contraction.
Creating and pruning.
Beginnings and closures.
Being a defined me and being all one with everything and anything.
Is there ever stillness?
I used to get confused by my inner waves, opposites, ever-changing nature, rhythms and contradictions – actually, it still happens quite often. Is there ever stillness? Is there a singularity beyond these pushes and pulls?
Yes, there is the essence that interweaves us all, the beingness, which is the fabric of all that is, whatever name you might give it.
This stillness is my reference point.
This deep knowingness of my divinity that transcends all words.
Dealing with the ebbs and the flows
And yet, I still can’t tune in to this sacred space on command, which causes this unpleasant feeling of separateness and my experiences of contrast.
That’s when I ride the waves of expansion and contraction, especially the contraction part, the hard way.
Sometimes, I create projects only to lose interest in them a few moments later.
Sometimes, I feel trapped within my own creations.
Sometimes, I wonder what the sense behind everything I do is.
But mostly, I love riding the waves, navigating the flows (not so much the ebbs, admittedly!) and experiencing myself in many different ways. Being in the flow always shows me that I’m tapped into that state of unity beyond time and space.
Unity and polarity
I know all this is not either unity or polarity.
It’s both because right now I am a physical being and channeling universal consciousness through my biology which (I think!) creates my human identity.
Dealing with contrast, my own inherent edges, my self-sabotaging beliefs often drives me crazy though. And that’s (together with my fascination for life) what’s keeping me going. That’s what’s keeping me yearning for unity. And that’s part of what’s keeping me on my quest to fully understand how life works. And to be able to teach it one day in my very own way.
Gratitude… it works!
One thing that really helps in edgy times is gratitude. For what is, what was, and what will be.
Sometimes, I am not able to tune into gratefulness though but I (almost) always can find things I couldbe grateful for even though I don’t feel it in that particular moment.
I think it was Oprah who once said something similar to this:
I’m sharing this with you because if it matters to me chances are good that there are people out there to whom it matters, too.
Because ultimately, we’re all one.
Much love,
Nina
P.S.: Did you know that I created a guided gratitude meditation with THE Barry Goldstein? It’s called Grateful – A Meditational Journey into Gratitude.
