Melissa Ambrosini
Open Wide: A Radically Real Guide to Deep Love, Rocking Relationships, and Soulful Sex
by Dona Winger from nourishmewellness.com
Melissa Ambrosini is the best selling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, host of The Melissa Ambrosini Show podcast, a motivational speaker, and a business and personal development mentor. In this, her second book, you will find an ultimate guide to positive, fulfilling relationships. Throughout the book it is obvious that the concepts presented can be used to develop rocking relationships with yourself, your friends, and your colleagues, as well as your soulmate—with the exception of the sexy stuff at the end.
Unleashing Your Divine Goddessence
Relationships are the ultimate playground of our life-force energy. This energy seeks to know itself through knowing others. Embodied in this energy is the Masculine and the Feminine which is an extension of the ruling forces in the universe: Yin and Yang, Positive and Negative, Dark and Light, Firm and Fluid. Everything in nature contains both polarities to make the sacred whole. When both are in balance—within yourself and your relationships—there is harmony. These are energies, not physical forces, so this concept transcends gender.
Unfortunately, we have been programmed from an early age to ignore our flighty feminine energy, in favor of the more stable masculine energy, and so many of us are out of balance with ourselves. Thankfully, there are plenty of empowering female archetypes from which we can draw inspiration. Such examples might be the Warrioress when you have to give a big presentation, the Priestess when you want to be intentional and reflective, or any number of other empowered female characters.
In order to embody your own Goddessence, you have to master your inner Mean Girl. You do this by practicing awareness, actively ignoring your Mean Girl’s comments, and choosing love instead.
Melissa also encourages knowing your cycle and how it affects you. She shares several fantastic tips as to how to love and honor your natural monthly cycle (or your partner’s). Honoring your cycle, instead of treating it as something just to get through, is the key to your power.
Cultivating Rocking Relationships
In order to experience deep love, you have to first love yourself. In order to do this, Melissa suggests nine self-love lessons. These are quit people pleasing, judge no more, let go of comparisons, eradicate expectations, be present, dial up your worthy-o-meter, go inward, date yourself, and master your mean girl. Embodied in these nine lessons is deep, unconditional love for ourselves which leads to embracing and truly owning our nature at its core. In this way, we can put our true selves out there to call in the people who will most complement us.
The next step is to identify our values, beliefs, and principles which determine how we perceive the world and navigate through life. Really looking closely at these factors helps us to see what is important to us and so what is important in a relationship. Within these factors are things we are willing to compromise on and things that are deal breakers. These are different for everyone, but important to identify in order to be fulfilled and live our truth.
Practice what Melissa calls Crystal Clear Communication (CCC) around these values and have strong, clear boundaries. Communicating your true feelings and setting boundaries with others allows us to free ourselves and others from misunderstanding and ambiguity.
Is there such a thing as a soulmate? Melissa believes so, but she says you make the rules. A soulmate isn’t just some mystery person that the universe decides to send to you. You call this person in. This person does not complete you, they compliment an already perfect you. In order to be an epic lover, support, empower, and hold space for your partner.
Soulful Sex
First of all, let go of the guilt and shame about sex. The way sex is portrayed in media and pornography is not the whole story. It is not all about getting your rocks off, but can be a soulful, fulfilling experience which deepens love and creates healing energy. Melissa believes that if we can change our beliefs about our bodies, and sex, we can set a positive, empowered example for future generations.
The first step is getting up close and personal with you. Loving yourself first, as always, is where it all starts. One interesting exercise is mirror work. Get naked and stand in front of the mirror. Really look at yourself. Maybe start small, only one minute, and start the timer over if your Mean Girl butts in with her nasty comments. Then, increase the time. Once you’ve mastered this step, move on to actively complimenting yourself.
Keep in mind that this book was written with women in mind, and many women have an aversion to, or are largely naive about their own anatomy. Contained within this last section is a primer to the female anatomy as well as a guide to empowered self-exploration. Also explained is how orgasm can allow you to “unlock your creativity, increase your happiness, experience vibrant health, kick butt in business, boost your income, and become a much nicer human to be around.”
Soulful sex will only happen if you have done the work within yourself to achieve the level of honesty necessary to be vulnerable, trusting, and open with yourself and your partner. You need to be emotionally naked in order to Open Wide to soulful sex. Rather than just a physical experience, it is an experience on the spiritual level.
At the core of this book is the recurring theme that you are worthy of deep love, rocking relationships, and soulful sex, but it all starts with the most important person in the room…You. There is no detour or short cut that skips the inner work in favor of the juicy stuff on the other side. Self-love is key in anything mentioned here. Only after you connect with yourself on a meaningful level can you reap the benefits of fulfilling and empowering relationships.
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